18 days

Yesterday, i had posted a status on facebook about a political matter: 

"Okay, so one of my biggest pet peeves is when i talk to people who joined the army and they tell me they are scared they will get deployed, scared to use a gun, or scared they will get killed or hurt. For heavens sake, you joined the Military! You signed a contract to DEFEND your country. You did the Oath of Enlistment. If you just joined the military for the Educational Benefits, then you will not make it far in the Military;you will get eaten alive. At the end of the day your heart must be 200% in to defending your country, the constitution, and your fellow comrades. If you are one of these people please bail out now, and do us all a favor. Being in the Military we must all have each others backs. We all become family to one another. If we ened up fighting with one another i WILL have your back, in exchange i expect the same. I would risk my life to save yours. As the Warrior Ethos says, "I will always place the mission first, i will never quit, i will never leave a fallen comrade." I will stay true to those words. And i stay true to my word. I won't pussy out. Man up and do what you signed up to do. Defend our country and the people in it."

And i some people had some pretty insulting things to say about the Military in general. I had a friend a while back saying something along the lines that once you join the Military a lot of Civilians grow to hate you for what you are doing. I didn't believe him at first. But now i do. 

Why would you honestly insult any Marine, Soldier, Sailor or Airmen? They defend your freedom every day. Because of the Military we have all the freedoms that we have. While you are on your iphone, laptop and watching netflix, soldiers everywhere are risking their lives so that you can live yours. So please be respectful of the Military. They do a lot for all of us everyday. They don't get the chance to see their loved ones everyday like we do. They are away from them for months on end. And are lucky to even get a phone call. 

And i'm not saying all this to make everyone feel guilty. As a soldier we all know what we signed up for, we are willing to give it all up. Because we WANT to fight for our country. And most Veterans that i have ever talked to would do it again in a heart beat. There is a T-shirt i saw the other day that totally sums it up perfectly, "I wanted to serve, I volunteered to serve, I knew what i was doing" And then in the back it said, "i'd do it again". Almost every person who has ever served, would do it again in a heart beat. They knew what they were doing when they rose their right hand. And if they didn't, they were the type of person who felt they had no other option. 

i promise to anyone that i end up fighting side by side i WILL have your back, I would risk my life to save yours. Because we are soldiers and that is what we are meant to do. You are my brothers and sisters, we are family. I will never leave you behind. I joined the Army as a Combat Medic because i want to save my men. 

I know that this experience i am about to embark on will change my life. I can't wait for it to begin. 

Thank you for listening to my rampage,
Allegra

"Be the change you wish to see in the world."

19 days.

hello friends, family, and everyone else who has been incredibly supportive. I cannot believe we are at 19 days! Incredible! I'm excited, nervous, thrilled and so many other descriptive words. I'm so thankful that i have such a great support system. I couldn't do this without ya'll supporting me. Well i could but you awesome people make it that much easier. I know this new adventure i am embarking on will change my life. For the better. I know that i will get a lot out of it besides just Medical Experience. 

So, since i've enlisted i've been a little obsessed with watching YouTube Videos on basic training and what my Medic training will be like. I gotta say, i cannot wait until i do my first IV. oh, and Wound care, i love wound care. 

I am back in full on training mode. My ankle is completely healed. It doesn't even hurt anymore. But, i'm not going to do anything to hurt it right now, so i'm avoiding doing stuff that would make it hurt again. But i can definitely tell i haven't been training for a while. Every single muscle in my body aches. haha! Thank you Rebecca Parent. 

Lets see, what other random crap can i talk about?

Oh! well yesterday. I saw this Video on YouTube. And it really inspired me. So, you should all watch it. It's amazing. Well i think so at least. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MLOjIKt7wOk&list=PLuCr7fqyOHBt948tq7jN1fyU1EorBJizJ

Thank you all for all of your love, understanding and support. I love you all. 

-Allegra


"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frighten us. You playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconscioulsy give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

20 Days.

Hello all,

Sigh. Tomorrow will hit 19 days! i am so thrilled, nervous, excited, and scared all at the same time. This is the first time i will ever have left home. Like truly left home. I'm so excited. 

Its creeping on me fast, time is a ticking. And very quickly. I better get to it and get things done. I"ve gotten the most important things done, so thats the most important. 

I don't know if i told you all, but i got an Address book, and if you would like to get any letters from me, please message me or text me your address. I got most of my family and some friends. But not all. I won't know what my address will be until a couple weeks of being there. Because the first week we are there is called reception and we are on a different location on the army post than when we offically get into our Basic Training Battalion. So, be patient with me. 

I am pretty sure that my graduation will be on May 31st. Which is the day before my birthday. Which i find awesome. Why? Because what better birthday present can i ask for than to be done with Basic Training. I can't wait! 

I'm starting to get a little antsy, i'm ready to go already and get this new adventure of mine started. I am thrilled. Things are going so well lately that its kinda throwing me for a loop, something has to go of course. You know when things are going so well, it makes you kinda fishy about it? 

I only have to work 3 more shifts! I am super duper thrilled. I will probably run out of there like a high school graduate!Maybe not that far, but close to it. I have all of this week off, and then work March 4th, 5th and 8th. I can't wait. 

It's all coming at me pretty quickly. Like, i knew this was coming, but it almost felt like a dream. Now it's all really hitting me. This IS happening!! 

I was supposed to go to Texas yesterday to see my Grandma before i left. But certain circumstances, AKA Mother Nature made it so i couldn't go. That made me super dissapointed. I really wanted to see her before i left. I absolutely LOVE my grandma. She is such an amazing person in and out. When i was a kid i would go to Texas to spend with my family every summer. And i would spend a lot of time with her. We would get into a lot of trouble. ha! We had a lot of good times. I love her dearly. 

Well that is it for now. Love you all,
Allegra


"Let me tell you something you already know. The world aint all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place, and i don't care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanately. If you let it. You, me or nobody is gonna hit you as hard as life. But it aint about how hard you hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done! Now, if you know what your worth, then go out and get what your worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you aint where you wanna be because of him or her, or anybody. Cowards do that, and that aint you. You're better than that!"

25 days

25 days..

I cannot believe it.

I feel like such a sapp. the last month i've been super emotional, and thinking about everyone i am going to miss. Because i've realized there are a hell of a lot of people that i am going to miss. I could start to name people. But lets face it. it's a very long list and knowing my luck i would miss someone. 

Well the good news is that i only have to work 5 more shifts. 5! And after saturday only 3! You cannot believe how happy i am about that. And i know this is bad, but i've checked out. So badly. I told myself i wouldn't. But i did. It's pretty hard not to. 

I am starting to get really sad about leaving. And on some sort of level i don't think that i have quite realized that i am actually leaving. Truth is i don't think i will realize it until i get off the plane in Lawton, Oklahoma. I know that i can do this, and i know that this will make me better, and i know for sure that when i do get my nursing degree, this will make me a better nurse. And i keep hearing that on some sort of level i will come back a different person. Which kinda scares me in a way. Because i do like who i am, so i hope i don't turn into someone i don't recognize. 

This new adventure is going to be exciting, scary, thrilling, new, and totally different from anything that i've ever embarked on before. So, we shall see where this will lead me. 

Like i said. There are a lot of people i am going to miss. But there is one person that i am going to miss more than anything. That is all i am going to say, and leave it at that. 

So, i am trying to spend time with as many people as possible before i leave, and oh my goodness i didn't realize how hard that was going to be. So please my friends, i want to see everyone before i leave. So, please make an effort if you wan't to go out before i leave. There are a lot of people i'm trying to see and i'm sorry if i don't make the first effort there are a lot of people i wanna see. 

I'll see you soon then,
Allegra

But even in dying, our life story doesn't just end. Each of us leaves behind a legacy of memories in the minds of those who survive us. As we live each day, we are building this legacy, through our words, our actions, and the choices we make. Each of us began life completely dependent on others for our survival. Over the course of our lifespan, others come to depend on us. It is those people whose lives we have touched in some way, whether for good or for ill, who will remember us. In this sense, the final chapter of our lives will be written not by us, but by those whose life stories have intersected with our own.

26 Days.

We are getting closer. Like less than a month! It's wild! I absolutely cannot wait for this new adventure that i am about to embark on. I am so thrilled, nervous, excited and at the same time i am absolutely freaking out. 

Yesterday at work. Was a rather hectic day. But i was reminded in a round about way, what life is all about and why i do what i do. We had this patient that i fell in love the minute i met her. Yesterday she was telling me her life story. She was married for 51 years until her late husband passed. Not too long after she met her current husband, who she has been with 6 months. She told me she has never been more in love, she's never been happier, and he treats her like a princess. As she tells me all this i couldn't help but cry in how much she loves this man. Not long after this i had gotten her up in a chair and took her out to the living room, she tells me to move her closer to her hubby so she can look at him and hold his hand. Later on in the day as i get her back into bed, her hubby was leaving the room, and she called him her one true love. Right before i left her room i told her that we see a lot of patients here but only certain ones do we keep in our hearts. And she is one of them. And we both started crying. This is why i do what i do. These are the moments i live for at work. So, live your life to fullest, do what you love, have fun, laugh lots and spend it with those you love. Because you never know when they will be taken away from you. And do what you wan't for you. Who cares what everyone else thinks. Life can surprise you sometimes. I don't care how old you are. 15, 29, 46, 78, or 100; There is someone out there for everyone. I know i am being rather sappy and sentimental. But this really affected me. The rest of the day, and today i thought about her and all of it. 

Well, moving on. Tomorrow marks 25 days. That is insane! i cannot wait! 

Love you all. 

Allegra 

"Find a partner Who encourages you to grow, who won't cling to you, who will let you go out into the world, and trust that you will come back."

29 Days!

We are in the 20's! Tomorrow we will officially be hitting the 20's! And as i am more thrilled than you can ever imagine.

Tomorrow it will be exactly 4 weeks until i leave. Time is finally flying by. 

the last week has truly been an emotional roller coaster for me. well, in reality the last 4 years have been. But most importantly the last week has been. But i wouldn't take it back for the world. A lot of laughter, and a lot of tears. And involving making adult decisions, even though i know its the best, i still wish i didn't have to. This paragraph is probably very confusing to those of you who don't know the entire story, and for that apologize.

Life can surprise you sometimes. It can be amazing. 

So, after all is said and done. And i get my GI bill. I figured out from a friend of mine, that with that and FASFA. I'll be able to just go to school, and not have to work. Which is a miracle. Because, that will make life so much easier. Because over the last 5 years, its been difiicult going to school with a job. I think that would work best for me. And go to Nursing school, PA, NP or Medical school. Which ever i figure out that i want to do. Which i know fir sure is in the medical field. But definitely not CNA. hah. I have done that for long enough. 

Sigh. 

Thank you all. 

i'll be seeing you,
Allegra


People think that a soul mate is your perfect fit and thats what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror the person that shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you will ever meet, because they will tear down your walls and smack you awake. A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so out of control that you have to transform your life..

31 Days.

oh my goodness. 31 days. it's so bittersweet. I can't believe its coming so close. I absolutely cannot wait. But at the same time, i'm nervous and scared. Its pretty nerve wracking making a big change like this. i know it's going to be a good change.  And i need this in my life somehow. I need to pursue my dreams and goals. And this is one of the biggest ones. PLus it allows me to be able to pursue my biggest goal of all. To take care of people, in a really big way. 

I was at work last week and we had a patients family member wearing a Army hat with all sorts of pins on it. And i felt so proud, that in knew what most of the pins were. He was Airborne, Combat infantry, Calvary Scout, belonged to the 101st Airborne Division, Purple heart, and a Vietnam Veteran. among some other things as well. I was talking to him about how i was leaving for basic training, and he was absolutely thrilled for me. And when i told him that i was going to be a Combat Medic, he told me that When i get out i will want to become a doctor and not a nurse. So we shall see where that goes. 

Actually, my Recruiters boss was a Combat Medic. And went to Iraq and Afghanistan. And he told me that some of the stuff you get to do as a Medic is more than any Doctors get to do in the Hospitals in the Civilian world. So, i absolutely cannot wait. So, Maybe i will pursue Medical School, maybe i will pursue going to Nurse practitioner school, maybe i will pursue Physicians Assistant school, or maybe i will go to Nursing school. I'd be happy with any of those goals. Because at the end of the day, all i want to do is help and take care of people. That is what i've always wanted to do. So we shall see where this leads me after all is said and done.

i can't wait to see what the future holds for me. It still feels so surreal that i'm just 31 days from accomplishing one of them.Yesterday I actually got really emotional about leaving. I was thinking about all the people who i will miss and have changed my life, and who have had a profound affect on my life. And gosh, there are a heck of a lot of them. I'm going to miss everyone of them while i'm gone. 

I love you all, and thank you all for your support and understanding,
PFC Ramirez

But even in dying, our life story doesn't just end. Each of us leaves behind a legacy of memories in the minds of those who survive us. As we live each day, we are building this legacy, through our words, our actions, and the choices we make. Each of us began life completely dependent on others for our survival. Over the course of our lifespan, others come to depend on us. It is those people whose lives we have touched in some way, whether for good or for ill, who will remember us. In this sense, the final chapter of our lives will be written not by us, but by those whose life stories have intersected with our own

32 Days

Oh goodness. Today i will start back into training. Lets hope i don't die after 2 weeks off. Wish me luck. Time is really going by so quickly. I wasn't expecting it to go by so fast. I'm glad it is. But now its feeling kind of surreal. Like, is this really happening or am i just dreaming that it is? Stuff like that. I am so excited, but goodness. This is real. I don't think i realized how real it was until the last week or so. I would talk and talk about how excited i was and all that jazz. But it just recently hit me. I mean, i have been counting down the days since i Enlisted in December. But still it recently just hot me. 

There really are a lot of people that i will truly miss. I will miss my parents as this will be my first time away from home. like ever. I will miss my job, mainly the friendships i have created there. Not so much the place. ha ha. I will miss, my friends from the gym, i will miss my friends from my old jobs, high school, college, and everyone else in between. There a lot of people that i have crossed paths with over the last few years that have really changed my life. And i will be sad to leave them, but i know that this is the best thing for my future. This is going truly better myself. And give me a chance to pursue all my future dreams and goals. and to get my schooling completely paid for? Could i ask for anything better? 

I know I've said it once, and i will say it again. I have such an amazing support group. I don't think there is a single person who has not been supportive about my decision to join the army. and oh my goodness that has been amazing. I was so worried about what people would think or do when i decided to join the army. I love you all and thank you so much for your overwhelming support. 

I cannot wait to see what my future holds for me. This is the first time in a very long time that i am actually excited about my future and what it holds for me. And I'm not scared of whats going to happen with it, or even dreading the future. 

Arizona will always be home for me. So my Arizona friends and family, this is not goodbye. This is see you next time. I will be back. After i do my time, i will move back here. I love this state. And i love the people here. And don't you worry anytime that i get to come home i will. I get 30 days of leave a year. And i will take them. 

Cheers,
Allegra


the important thing is to not be bitter about life's disappointments. Learn to let go of the past and realize that every day won't be sunny. And when you find yourself lost in the darkness of despair, remember its only in the black of night that you see the stars; and those starts will lead you back home.

35 days.

hello all.

Oh goodness. Where to begin. 

The last few days. Have been the best days of my life. Thats all i will say. Read what you want into it. Think what you want. I am the happiest than i have ever been in a very long time. 

Time is ticking. it's going by way faster than i ever thought that it would be. It's a little overwhelming. I am still overtaken by excitement! i cannot wait for this new adventure of mine. Although i will miss quite a few people in Arizona. But i'll be back. I promise. This is home. And all of the people i have met, and gotten the opportunity to create all of these friendships with are so much more than just friends. In a way all of you are family. I love you all in one way or another. So thank you all for your friendship. It really has had a profound affect on my life one way or another. 

And on another side note, i really need to get an Adress book. I want just about everyones adresses, so that i can write you all while i am away in another world. 

I will never forget how you smelled that day, like your mom did your laundry and like you wanted me to want you and breathe you in until i got lightheaded and had to sit down and i will never forget the way you looked at me like you could sort through all the clutter in my head and i will never ever forget how your voice sounded soft and sudden and illuminated just like your eyes when you said i was different and that was the exact moment when i let myself feel you again. 

36 Days

I know over the last couple days i haven't been very consistent with my blogs. I'm sorry friends! Life has been rather hectic. 

On Thursday i reconnected with a very dear friend of mine. Felt so good to reconnect with them. We were really close for a long time, And just got in a big fight a couple years ago. And we hadn't talked since. But I decided to reach out, and I'm very glad i did. it was the best decision I've made in a while. So, it has been really nice to reconnect. And it feels like we never stopped talking. its fantastic. 

There is so much i want to say, i just don't know how to write it on paper. or i guess the computer. 

You know, I'm so happy about where my life is headed. I haven't been this happy about my future in a long time. I absolutely cannot wait. I mean when all is said and done and my army career is over, Arizona will always be my home. This is where my home is. My friends are here, the mountains are here, and the people that have changed my life in one way or another are here. Not to say that my friends and family at other places around the world haven't changed my life, because they have. But Arizona is home for me. This is where i belong. 

So, i will say this over and over again. But thank you all for being so supportive in my decision to join the Army. it means a lot to me. You all have a special place in my heart. So, Thank you. I love you all. 

I was thinking that i was going to be able to get back to working out tomorrow. but I'm not sure if that's going to be happening. my ankle is better. But i just want to be sure..So please pray for me and my ankle. and if you don't pray send positive thought and energy its way. :)



Love is patient, Love is kind, Love does not envy, does not boast, is not proud, does not dishonor others, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, keeps no record of wrongs, does not delight in evil, rejoices with the truth, always protects,always trusts,always hopes, always preserves. 
1 Corinthians 13:4-7

39 days!

Hello All,

We have officially hit the 30's! i am thrilled! and my ankle today is feeling better than it has since this all happened last week! so that really made me happy when i woke up this morning! I can't tell you how excited i am about this new adventure i embarking on. 

I only work 2 more shifts before another week off work. So that very much makes me pretty happy. You know I'm very much trying to get myself not to mentally check out. But its starting to get hard not to. only 9 more shifts until i am done at work. So i am very happy about that. 

And thank you all for all of your support. It means a hell of a lot to me. And it makes everything so much easier for me. Because this is truly a BIG change for me. and it is kind of scary. This is my first time i will be leaving home. I've never been away from my Dad for more than a few weeks. So this will be a big change. And the fact that i have met some people that i will be doing my training with over the next several months really makes it a hell of a lot less scary. Because not knowing a single soul makes it kind of scary. 

And i believe i have my wish list all made up. Fort Lewis (Washington), Fort Bragg (North Carolina), and possibly Fort Carson (Colorado) or Fort Stewart (Georgia). I've been hearing really good things about Fort Carson. I also would love to be overseas. Like, Germany or Korea. But hey. We shall see. My wish list is not even guaranteed i will get those duty stations. Where the Army needs you is where you will go. 

Some other good news is that i got a new laptop with my Tax Refund and some money i had been saving up for one with. SO HAPPY! my other one was about ready to crash on me. I just need to get a bag for my new Laptop now. 

Thank you all for being such an awesome support system. I love you all. 

-Allegra


There comes a day when you realize turning the page is the best feeling in the world, because you realize there is so much more to the book than the page you were stuck on. 

40 Days.

Why hello friends and loved ones,

i know i havent blogged in several days. but i have had a lot going on. and been quite busy in a sense.

I was freaking out over the past week or so, because i thought i seriously messed up my ankle. LUCKILY i didnt i think it is just  a minor sprain or twist. I went and got an X-Ray. and nothing showed up. so thats a relief. and today it is the best its been since this happened. So i believe we are golden. Now i just need to work on my running form and hope that'll help.

But that is it for now.

-Allegra